Finish the story begins with: “Not knowing what to expect, he made his way into the dark of the forest.”
Not knowing what to expect he made his way into the dark of the forest. He listened and then kept on stumbling over twigs and leaves. He felt so tired.
“Where are they? What do they want from me?”
Questions milling in his mind. He kept on moving. The forest grew denser and darker.
Suddenly he stopped.
“What was that? Where are they?”
Nothing, only his breathing. In, out, in, out. He kept his breath, there it was again. A very light thumb, thumb. It was coming closer and closer. He stood still waiting for the worst.
“Ha, got you!” came the familiar voice of his brother: “You can’t escape me. I was just joking. There are no monsters in the forest.” What a relief!
https://mondaysfinishthestory.wordpress.com/2015/10/19/mondays-finish-the-story-oct-19th-2015/
You do a good job building tension through the story, Chioma. Nicely done! I think your final world should be ‘relief’ rather than ‘relieve’, though. 🙂
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Oh thanks for the spelling! I’ll quickly fix it. Thanks for your kind words.
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You’re welcome. 🙂
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Die storie het ‘n goeie spanningslyn! Baie mooi Ineke!
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Dankie, kan hom lekker bietjie uitrek as ek hom gebruik in my volgende boek!
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Brothers! Who’d have them? Mine liked to play tricks on me, too. It was definitely a relief that it was his brother he could hear in your story, Ineke.
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Yes, I can imagine brothers playing a trick on their own family!(Don’t have a brother)
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I love my brother to pieces, but he was a little monkey when he was younger. He’s six years younger than me.
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That’s why he could play tricks on you! I am sure he’ll play more if he gets the chance.
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Mens kan bang raak as jy nie weet nie
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Grillerig so alleen! Een van die skryf dames is n “tramper” en sy doen dit alleen. Net die idee is al genoeg om mens bang te maak. Sy ken egter die bos. Steeds, wat gebeur as iets hom voordoen.
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Ja dis ook nie vir my nie maar dan ek kamp ook nie!
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Het darem met Voortrekkers gekamp.
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Dis waar ek my knou weg het
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He he, dis darem nie so erg nie! Het self een jaar n oorstroming beleef in n tent.
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Ek kan doen daarsonder Daai badkamers is grillerig verby!
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pheeew… and I thought it ends with a meet&greet with big foot or a wild animal… What a relieve, I so agree LOL :o)
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You can say that again! Frightening, just the idea but we dogs would have gone under cover first before going in for the fight!
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Fun story with some tension. Good work!
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Thanks, I did not want him to be in big trouble because that would be another chapter.
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Hehe,tipies broer! Mooi geskryf Ineke.
Ek het jou boek klaar gelees en ek hou baie daarvan.Die stories is lekker kort en pittig en ek hou veral daarvan dat jy dit in verskillende kategorieë ingedeel het.So hier en daar is ‘n taalfoutjie wat deurgeglip het,maar dis nie hinderlik nie.Mooi so en begin sommer met die volgende boek!
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Dankie, bly jy hou van storie!
Goed om te hoor dat my boek darem nie te sleg is nie. Alles was en is nog maar vreemd vir my. Sal nog weer kyk vir taalfoute en dit regstel. Ek het genoeg stories vir my volgende deel. Ek is net eers besig om my Vrydag skryfsessies se boek aanmekaar te slaan. Gee myself kans tot einde Oktober. Daarna begin my volgende Flash Fiction een. Loop ook nou n 6 weke klas oor skryf van kort verhale! Nagmaals dankie vir jou positiewe terugvoer!
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Jy is baie kreatief.Ek haal my hoed af vir jou!
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Dankie hoor. Ek geniet dit ter deë om so besig te wees.
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He may not trust his brother anymore after that, but they will add that little prank to their memory bank for future years. 🙂
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Just think what he could do to get back at him! When they sit one day they will have good stories to tell their children.
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