Childhood: Memoirs


About my life and past

I  always wanting to please others. I can’t stand up for myself and say what I think because I don’t want to hurt others. This is how it still is today  I feel I am always coming last.

I can’t remember much of growing up, only small events come up and then go again.

The ” It’s write easy” sessions every Friday helps me to get closure in my life.

I always had someone in my life that dominated me.

First, it was my father keeping me away from enjoying my life as a scholar. The first years while we were living in Pretoria and then in Erasmia, a tiny “dorpie” (village or small town) at first was quite good. I had a few best friends at school. They even came to my home to play, and I could go on a Friday afternoon and play at their places. The school had only four teachers, and we all played and learned as if we were a big happy family. My school work was of high standard and I also enjoyed the after school activities like “korfball” * and athletics. In my last year in primary education, I was the best girl athlete in school.  

Then came the bad years. We moved to a “plot”**, away from anything. When I look back on those years, we lived a life of going nowhere.  I did not have any friends during my High school years. There was no opportunity to make friends. I could not take part in any after school events because my father did not want to pick me up afterwards. (I understand it was difficult for him, it was out of his way to pick me up) My school work did not go well. I can’t remember if there was time for homework at all.

We did not have electricity at home. We still used candles. I had to get up early, help my mother to milk the goats and then off to school in the school bus that took about an hour to get to school.  Coming back by bus in the afternoons, I had to look after the goats while they were grazing in the fields.

I got more and more lonely. Nobody to talk to, nothing. At the end I passed high school every year, I don’t know how but I did. Those years were very hard years.

I appreciate it that my parents looked after me that well. I could actually never expand my way or use my ideas.  I was always criticised no matter what I said or did.

 

*https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Korfball

**http://www.dictionary.com/browse/plot

a small piece or area of ground:

a garden plot; burial plot.

a measured piece or parcel of land:

a house on a two-acre plot.

 

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Author: scrapydo2.wordpress.com

Retired teacher interested in anything crafty: Scrap booking, card making, quilting, knitting etc. Everything about animals especially DOGS

29 thoughts on “Childhood: Memoirs”

  1. i came upon your blog this morning. Appreciate your story and your writing. I am also writing a series of blogs on my mother (i feel she was overlooked in our family history, very dad-oriented). I see you participated in the A-to-Z challenge last year. This is my project for this year’s challenge. Hope you discover and work out any areas that need resolving. I find writing my memories has brought so much good (and a little painful) to life. Good work!! Lightheaded: Retiring at 8300 feet

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    1. Thanks for your kind words. I enjoyed A-Z last year. It is very time-consuming because English isn’t my home language. I started writing anecdotes from my life since 2012 and have discovered many small parts of my life one never think about. At times it hurts a lot but most of the time the good things are more than the hurtful ones. I’ll hop over and have a look at your writing too!

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  2. I did very well in school but still nothing I did was good enough for my mother. My father had died and as a teenager and young adult nothing I ever did was good enough or right enough. However it did not deter me from having a very happy and productive life. thanks for sharing this story.

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    1. I know how it feels. It is so good that we still could break out of that space and become our own self. You also enjoy your horses and I enjoy my dogs in all their ways. Thanks for reading and opening up about your past. It brings relieve to talk about it. My sister denies a lot of what I write about. She wasn’t in the same space as me, I was meant to be the boy. I always had to help my father. Have a lovely day and weekend.

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    1. At times it does not feel that good to think about the hard times but it makes me humble and thankful that I had parents that cared and helped to get qualifications and not thought- go out and earn your own money to help the family. Our education was different in many ways.

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  3. Hierdie ervarings was algemeen in daardie dae: ek was ook ‘n koshuisbrak want ons het te ver van die hoërskool gewoon. Omdat ek so alleen was het ek gou die wonder van lees ontdek. Jou storie bring vele herinneringe terug!

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    1. Gelukkig het ek eers “koshuis” toe gegaan toe ek begin studeer het en daarna was ek vir n jaar koshuismoeder(na n jaar het ek geweier om dit weer te doen!) Die neerskryf van die lewe help baie om insig te kry in hoekom sekere dinge is soos dit is. Ook vir die nageslag is dit goed sodat hul kan weet hoe dit was voor al hierdie tegnologie wat daar vandag is. Lees bly tog maar die belangrikse deel van die lewe.

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      1. Eish dis hartseer… Daar is min mense wat so hard gewerk het soos Pappa Ons het nooit honger gaan slaap nie. Hy was so trots op jou oor die bokke en honde. Onthou jy die inryteater uitstappies. Nee wat so kan ek aan en aan gaan .

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        1. Ja die inry kan ek goed onrhou. Pappa het beslis alles gegee om ons aandie lewe te hou. Het jy geweet dat hy nie werk gehad het toe ons in SA gekom het? Die tante wat dinge gereël het is dood voordat daar werklik vir hom gereël is. Beide ouers het rerig baie swaar gekry.

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  4. Ek kan ook met jou vertelling identifiseer. My ouers was egter albei onnies, en baie ‘kind’ ingestel. Tog, ek het self glad nie ñ goeie hoërskool loopbaan gehad nie. Was glad nie voorbereid op die lewe na skool nie. So iewers het dinge tog fout gegaan. Solank ñ ou kan identifiseer waar jou probleem lê, en dit sien vir wat dit is, beweeg ons vorentoe. Vandag het jy soveel sukses bereik, ten spyte van. Dit noem ons ‘wen’.

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    1. Beslis wonderlik om te dink dat afgesien van die manier waarop die skooltyd verloop het het mens tog gegroei in ervarings en voort gebou na die beste van n mens se vermoë. Ek dink die Hoërskool was ook meer op seuns gerig as meisies. Daardie “wen” laat mens dankbaar voel vir hoe dinge gebeur.

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  5. Lekker om jou beter te leer ken. Dit het my nou aan Dawid laat dink wat skape opgepas het en nie eers geroep was toe die profeet gesê het al die broers moet bymekaar kom sodat ‘n nuwe koning gesalf kon word nie. Van bokke oppas tot ‘n Ineke wat nou soveel goed op haar kerfstok het dat ek haar bewonder vir haar ywer. So het ons elkeen ons storie. Groete daar in sprokiesland.

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    1. Dankie man, ek waardeer jou lees en kommentaar baie. Vandat ek begin het om my gedagtes neer te skryf ontdek ek baie dinge en verstaan ek ook beter hoekom dinge was soos dit was. Dis goed om dit op skrif te hê sodat kinders en nou ook kleinkinders eendag kan lees hoe dit in 1952 tot … wanneer ook al was. Party dae raak my liggaam so moeg vir my berdrywige brein dat ek nie altyd waardeer wat ek doen nie. Ek is dankbaar dat my lewe sulke draaie geloop het dit maak mens ryk aan ondervinding. Elke mens het tye van opwinding, hartseer en vooruitgang. Die poskaart lewe hier is steeds heerlik. Nou die dag het ek en my seun op my voor trappies gestaan en die mistige skoonheid van die omgewing raakgesien. Ek is bly hy kan die poskaart ook so mooi beleef en aanvoel. Goed gaan daar in jul geweste met al die opdraendes.

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  6. Ons was almal in daardie jare gekondisioneer om nie vir onsself te dink nie. Ouers, onderwysers, dominees, politici, “base” by die werk – eintllik enige ouer persoon – moes gehoorsaam en met respek behandel word (nie dat almal van hulle dit verdien het nie) en sonder om enigiets te bevraagteken. Geen wonder dat meeste van ons net na skool weg is uit die huis om bietjie te gaan rinkink nie. Geen wonder ek is nog steeds ‘n rebel nie. Haha, kyk hoe “shrink” ek nou myself en ons generasie. 😀

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    1. Maar dis waar en onse ouers het dit nie besef nie. Hul het gedoen wat hul dink die beste is. Dan dis geen wonder dat die hiepies uitgeblom het en dat ons ge-ruk- en- rol het om van energie ontslae te raak nie. Ek het self nadat ek uit die huis is my voet eendag neergesit en geweier om te doen wat my skoolhoof wou hê ek moes doen. Hy het tot die inspekteur se hulp ingeroep, ek wou net bedank!

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  7. Ons vormingsjare is so kardinaal en bepaal ons selfbeeld vir ‘n leeftyd daarna, ons sosiale vaardighede word in daai jare gemaak of gebreek en as ons dit ontneem word, is daar ongelukkig die geneigdheid om ‘n “peoples pleaser” te raak, ek praat van myself ook – maar dank Vader, stadig maar seker kom ek by en begin ek meer en meer NEE sê, as iets my nie pas nie, maar ek “sugarcoat” dit nogsteeds net om nie dalkies ‘n ander se gevoelns seer te maak nie. Maar ek identifiseer myslef so met hierdie skrywe van jou – maar kyk hoe vlieg jy nou, jy maak ‘n lewe vol opwinding in die buiteland en boonop is dit suksesvol.

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    1. Baie waar, Daardie begin jare kan mens maklik maak of breek. My man het gelukkig n sterk persoonlikheid gehad en hy het my gedruk om, veral vir my Pa , nee te sê of my eie mening uit te spreek.(dit het natuurlik oorlog veroorsaak, maar ek het tog sterker bo uitgekom) Die basis van spaar en dink voor jy doen het van my ouers gekom en vandag is dit aan hul te danke dat ek spaarsamig lewe en tog baie geleenthede kon skep om vooruit te gaan. Dis egter baie moeilik om jou man te staan. Ek is steeds maar die gewillige esel, tot op n punt en dan is genoeg genoeg! Bly om te hoor jy staan meer vas met jou idees ook. Dit help nie om alles ten koste van jouself te doen vir ander nie.

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