About my life and past
I always wanting to please others. I can’t stand up for myself and say what I think because I don’t want to hurt others. This is how it still is today I feel I am always coming last.
I can’t remember much of growing up, only small events come up and then go again.
The ” It’s write easy” sessions every Friday helps me to get closure in my life.
I always had someone in my life that dominated me.
First, it was my father keeping me away from enjoying my life as a scholar. The first years while we were living in Pretoria and then in Erasmia, a tiny “dorpie” (village or small town) at first was quite good. I had a few best friends at school. They even came to my home to play, and I could go on a Friday afternoon and play at their places. The school had only four teachers, and we all played and learned as if we were a big happy family. My school work was of high standard and I also enjoyed the after school activities like “korfball” * and athletics. In my last year in primary education, I was the best girl athlete in school.
Then came the bad years. We moved to a “plot”**, away from anything. When I look back on those years, we lived a life of going nowhere. I did not have any friends during my High school years. There was no opportunity to make friends. I could not take part in any after school events because my father did not want to pick me up afterwards. (I understand it was difficult for him, it was out of his way to pick me up) My school work did not go well. I can’t remember if there was time for homework at all.
We did not have electricity at home. We still used candles. I had to get up early, help my mother to milk the goats and then off to school in the school bus that took about an hour to get to school. Coming back by bus in the afternoons, I had to look after the goats while they were grazing in the fields.
I got more and more lonely. Nobody to talk to, nothing. At the end I passed high school every year, I don’t know how but I did. Those years were very hard years.
I appreciate it that my parents looked after me that well. I could actually never expand my way or use my ideas. I was always criticised no matter what I said or did.
a small piece or area of ground:
a garden plot; burial plot.
a measured piece or parcel of land:
a house on a two-acre plot.