Describing a person: Memoires


I described my mother and my father for my writing group in the local Library.

Both descriptions are of my parents in the hospital before they passed away.

My Father passed in 1994 and my mother in 2006.

Mum in hospital

Frail and bony hands were on top of the blanket. She taught us that you never sleep with your hands under the covers. Her handkerchief clenched in one hand. She regularly swept or just held it under her nose. Pale blue eyes looked at me in recognition. Eyes kept wandering up to the shelf where a toy husky looked down at her. “He winked at me. His tongue is hanging out, he smiled at me “came the shaky words. Her hair was sparse and bland. She looked so fragile. She never complained about pain and yet one could see it in her eyes. Her body was swollen twice as big as normal, from all the water caused by heart and also kidneys failure. The physiotherapist came, Mom wanted to show how strong she was. We had to support her; she could hardly sit up. She still asked:” Is it good enough?” She was brave until the end, not complaining about all the pain.

Dad in hospital

He sat in the chair next to the bed.Old and tired of the life. His hands clenched around the armrests of the chair. Those strong hands, which worked hard throughout his life, looked old and wrinkled. The oxygen pipe in his nose helped his shallow and irregular breathing. He was still fighting against the world and its many injustices. He could not make peace with circumstances. Surviving World War II in the Netherlands nearly totally had broken him. He even accused my mum of not loving him at the end! She was the one supporting him his whole life. He just did not trust or believe anyone. He kept on fighting against all will till the end.

 

14 responses to “Describing a person: Memoires”

  1. So pragtig geskryf. Mens besef alles was defnitief nie maanskyn en rose in hul lewens nie, dalk ook nie in joune nie. Maar jy het die einde goed weergegee, met sagtheid en respek.

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    1. Dankie vir jou mooi woorde. Hul het beide baie swaar gekry. Wys ook hoe verskillend mense op omstandighede reageer

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  2. Vol deernis geskryf Scrapy. So het elkeen sy storie van lief en leed. Lanklaas bietjie met jou gesels.

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    1. Dankie, ek het so lank al gedreig om te skryf. Elke mens beleef die dinge op sy/haar eie manier. Mens praat ook nie sommer daaroor nie omdat jy te betrokke was in die omstandighede.

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  3. Sluk ek swaar met die lees van hierdie tere woorde, dankie vir die deel met ons .

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    1. Ja, ek het lank gedink aan hoe ek dit wil skryf sonder om op ander se tone te trap. Dis hoe ek dit beleef het. Ek was ook by my ma toe sy die laaste keer nog helder was vir n oomblik. Sy het gevra waar my Pa is en ek het haar gesê sy gaan hom binnekort weer sien. Dit het haar rustig gemaak. Sy het nog vir n week en n half geleef na dit.

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  4. that was very touching… and I wish that all people who fight so hard would get a chance…. that would be fair… but…. life sometimes ignores all fairness…sigh….

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    1. Thanks for your kind words. It’s true those who are so brave are usually the ones who get hit the hardest.

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  5. HARTVERSKEUREND, maar so mooi en vol empatie.
    Jou ma se afsterwe klink soos die duplikaat van my dierbare, kosbare, erg gemisde moekie, in 2015. Al wat sy nie by haar gehad het nie was die Husky wat neergekyk het op haar.
    Ek sit en my oë raak gevul met trane, want dit wek soveel herinneringe op in ‘n baie swaar gemoed vanmore.

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    1. Dis so hartseer dat so n liewe persoon so moet lei op die einde. Hul verdien dit tog nie regtig nie. Sy het die laaste dae in die hospitaal baie pyn ook gehad. Bedsere was septies!

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  6. Soveel deernis, Ineke.

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    1. Dankie vir die lees en kommentaar. My ma was so n sagte liefdevolle mens terwyl my pa die bombastiese diktator was( hy het dit goed bedoel, alles vir ons ontwil.)

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Sjoe… gelukkig het ek darem die ander kant van hom beleef.

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        1. Ek onthou ook darem baie goeie tye wat daar was. Dis net daardie laaste oomblikke wat ek so beleef het!

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