I completed an intensive non-fiction creative writing four-week course. The second week I felt I couldn’t keep up because it was way too intense for me with my little knowledge of the English language. I pushed through and learned a lot.
The last piece was different from the first three weeks. We had to write the information or story in a different way.
Science experiment
Guidance to inexperienced infants and dogs.
Purpose
Do juveniles and dogs require an adult/human to take care of and safely manage them?
Why is it critical for adults to be with young children while interacting with animals?
Keywords: Parents, two girls-one five years, the other one-two year, two Yorkshire terriers, chickens, one hen with chickens, young cattle, bull and cows.
Introduction
The recent weekend I, as granny, visited my children residing on a farm since the Easter Weekend. Everything is new for the whole household.
We all went out to have a look at the animals.
The experiment is to test whether adults are essential to be with young children and administer them. Likewise, why it is critical to control your animals, in this event, two Yorkshire Terriers, chickens and cattle?
Expected result: Parents should constantly try to watch out for animals and inexperienced children to keep them safe.
Young children and dogs need to learn to identify danger when wandering into the paddocks with cows and chickens.
Grown-ups are essential to keep children and dogs safe.
Method
Walk with infants and talk to them about risks
The hens are running loose. Molly, one dog, went after the hen with her chickens. Mom called Molly back. Before she could turn around, the hen charged at Molly and frightened her. She listened to the call and dodged the attack from the hen.
Next, Bea, the five-year-old, wished to go into the paddock with the young cows. The cows were interested in the movement and getting closer. Mommy advised her to gently go nearer. That didn’t materialize; Bea took off running to the cows. Alarming situation. The cows raced up to her. The thread was that they’ll trample her. That’s why an adult needs to oversee them and keep them safe. Mom yelled to slow down and turn around and get back. Luckily, Bea turned around and ran. The cows moved closer.
Mom chased the cows away, and Bea safely arrived at the gate.
Conclusion
Without guidance, Bea wouldn’t have made it; that’s why parents/adults are essential when youngsters take a stroll on a farm.
Result
The situation was an eye-opener for the parents; there are regular cases in the news cautioning against letting juveniles roaming on their own.
Dear reader,
What do you think of this piece of writing?
Did it pull you in to read up to the end?
What do you suggest adults should do or not do?
Any suggestions to make the writing more interesting?
Thank you for reading and maybe reporting back, much appreciated.
I scrap 2 
27 responses to “Non fiction creative writing”
Everything Brian said. This text follows a formlaic structure and that is great but it should not restrict you from putting in your emotions and voice. Saying that Bea’s mother’s face dropped and she started running towards Bea would convey a threat to Bea. I am trying to describe more emotion in the characters to indicate intent. This can still be non fiction or fiction as you choose. Although the exception is a children’s book. You don’t want your child readers to be terrified. I hope that makes some sense to you, Ineke. The writing course sounds great.
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Thanks Amanda for your feedback. I still need to expand and rewrite the story. Didn’t have time. Hopefully I’m going to settle down now and come back into a routine of writing and painting. This wasn’t for children’s book writing. I received good feedback which I’m going to include in next draft. Thanks again for reading it.
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😁
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I think you did very well, considering English is not your mother tongue. I almost felt the fear in your granddaughter as she ran away from the cows…and your own as you were watching all that!
For sure children always need supervision around animals…you never know what they might do.
Years ago, a goose stole a cookie right out of my son’s hand as were walking along a parkwalk…and the goose was very ‘brutaal’ and naughty! (Son was in a stroller…) At least son still has all his fingers!
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Thank you for your lovely feedback. Glad you could “feel” the “angs” in me too. Wasn’t a good experience at all. Geese are very “brutaal”, they are very scary too because they are the same hight as the children.
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My honest opinion? I would prefer your normal narrative way of writing. You did a good job though having to follow the prompt. I always like to read about your grandchildren
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Thanks Appeltjie, I enjoyed writing this information in a different way. There were three exercises which were totally different. Hopefully I’ll do the other two too. I agree with you too, I am more comfortable writing as I usually do.
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Jy het wonderlik gedoen Ineke!
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Dankie Aletta, was ‘n skok vir my brein om so in Engels te skrywe.
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😀
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Bravo for sticking with it
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Thanks Michelle I nearly gave up. Was hard to keep on writing.
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Ek het so kurses nodig!! Well done Scrapy
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Dankie Bondels. Ek het amper nie aan gegaan nie want dit was net te intens gewees. Toe ek eenmaal my navorsing gedoen het en ingevul het het ek beter gevoel. Toe kom hul telkens met show don’t tell. Ek kan vertel maar as dit kom by die inkleur van die regte gebeurtenisse koes ek weg.
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As dit persoonlike raakvat gebeurtenisse is, is dit wys om versigtig te wees vir wie jy wys of vertel. ..
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Ek weet van dit! Hierdie keer het ek my eie oorseeses ondervindings beskryf. Niemand was saam met my wat my kan teengaan nie. Was ‘n unieke gebeurtenis. Ek dink ek gaan dit dalk so van volgende week af sommer stuk vir stuk op my blog sit. Dis ‘n lewenservaring wat nie almal beleef in hul leeftyd nie.
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Hoeraaaa!!!!
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It took me in and I found the structure interesting. You did very well with this considering English is not your first language.
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A different way to write personal information. Thanks for reading and lovely feedback.
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Yes I did get to the end. It does read like a standard text book piece of how to write and draw a conclusion.
I would change the opening from “The recent weekend I, as granny, visited my children residing on a farm since the Easter Weekend.”
To – I visited my grandchildren who were staying on a farm for the Easter Weekend. They had never stayed on a farm before, so everything was a new experience.
“Molly, one dog, ” to Molly the dog
I did spot one error that spellcheck didn’t find “The thread was that they’ll trample her” I think you did mean to write “threat”
It probably didn’t need this sentence “That’s why an adult needs to oversee them and keep them safe.”
Hope this is OK I didn’t want to do a full edit as I don’t have the time at present but I hope it helps scrapy 🙂
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Wow, Thank you Brian I appreciate your feedback immensely. The tutor I had was good but way above my experience using English. Step by step I’m getting better. Thanks so much again.
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Glad to be able to help out scrapy 🙂
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Ineke, ek was dadelik geintresseerd in jou skrywe en kon nie ophou lees nie. Jy het die stuk baie goed geskryf en jy het my laat dink. Dit is goed om so ń senario in mens se geestesoog te sien afspeel!
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Ek met my kennis van diere was natuurlik heel gestress dat hul kinders en honde sommer so by beeste toelaat. Daar het verder nog ‘n stukkie afgespeel met die bul en sy klompie koeie ook. Bul het my en Molly gestorm met koeie agterna. Hul was meer in Molly geinteresserd as in my. Arme brakkie het haar alie afgeskrik. Gelukkig is daar elektriese heining wat hul weggehou het van my af.
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Ineke, ek is maar versigtig as dit by beeste, varke en perde kom! O, en kwaai makoue en gaanse.
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Almal het hul kwaaigeit. Honde en katte sluit ek ook nie uit nie. Ek vrees natuurlik perde en hul weet dit. Die blikskottels sal my uitsoek om te kom kennis maak.
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Ek en perde is dieselfde.
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